BOLDNESS: I AM GOOD

“Down, sehhttt, hut!” I mirror the gap I am responsible for. The play flows towards me as expected. Until it didn’t. I saw an opportunity. Do I leave my responsibility for a play I know I can make or do I remain faithful to the assignment? 

Caught between what I knew and what I was taught, I tried to do both, accomplishing none. Hesitation. The play got away from me. 

During the film session, Coach was slouched back, legs crossed, holding a TV remote stretched towards the screen in the dimly lit classroom, “I see what you saw Bradley.” He continued a few octaves higher, “But, if you are going to make a mistake, make it full speed!” 

“Yes sir.”

Coach wasn’t angry at the miss. He was angry at the manner of it. It lacked boldness. 

What kept me from being bold? The fear of failing. I was taught to obey coaches. I was designed to take risks. 

I trusted my coaches. I trust my designer. The moment revealed I didn’t trust myself. My life taught me one thing. If I don’t do good, I am not good. 

Every play was an opportunity to perform my way to acceptance. To regain right standing from those I disappointed. To show those who rejected me why I was worthy. 

This torment targeted my confidence. Every risk was a chance to lose the love I sought to keep. And earn. It was bigger than just making a play. Winning equaled approval.

Years later, football finished. 

The soul searching began. Uprooting everything condemnation connected with. I realized my former way of life was a lie.

Who I am transcends anything I do. Victory isn’t my goal. It is my origin. 

Now, I engage challenges from victory not for it. Winning is my inheritance. Triumph is my Truth. This can only be affirmed. Not changed. 

I am at peace. 

I can enjoy challenges. Why? Because I know it doesn’t change who I am. I confidently go full speed knowing what happens is what should be. 

I am good.

By Christian John Bradley